You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Of course I have a pirate flag
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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