We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
