who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
