I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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