I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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