we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
