What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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