why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
