i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
