this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
