Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
