oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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