so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
