he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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