yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
