So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
