he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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