Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
