I'm eating all of the evidence.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
