butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
