id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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