Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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