6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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