i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
