Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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