I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
this will be a night to untag.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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