There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
