I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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