I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
