When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
