It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
