I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
