glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
