There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
