well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
