how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Who died my cat blue again?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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