Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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