i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
