you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Houston, we have a squirter
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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