you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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