so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
