im drinking this country out of the recession.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
two words: eviction party
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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