Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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