He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
