Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
