So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
