i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
