We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
