RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
