she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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